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Ups and Downs

May 15, 2010

Roses from my Mom's garden.

Oh, the ups and downs of an experience as mentally, physically and spiritually intense as this.  I am feeling so hopeful and grateful and excited, now that home coming and graduation is within reach.  Week 2, I just wanted to get to this point, to the last day off before our final week.  I was hoping and praying that I would feel some sort of transformation, feel in some way dramatically different from how I felt when this started.  What I’m realizing now, is that I’m already on the path of yoga, so this transformation I was seeking has already happened (see Training Story).

What I can be sure of, is that I am fulfilling my intention in coming here, I am becoming a better teacher.  All of the expectation I placed on this situation only served to drag me out of the present moment and take me away from the subtle changes that were happening each day.  This has been such an amazing opportunity to look at myself (svadhyaya= Self-study) while learning about all of the ideals of living yoga.  Judgment of others is what I struggle with the most, and the truth is, doing so only upsets my own mindstate and takes me out of chitta-prasadan (serenity of mind).  Ultimately, judging people is a total lack of compassion.  It’s easy to correct though, by simply placing yourself in someone else’s shoes and thinking about how they might be feeling and what their back story is.  There is always an explanation or reason behind people’s actions.  The more you can be compassionate, the more you realize everyone is the same, and that’s really what yoga is all about.

Anyways, can’t wait to come back and teach!  Can you believe I actually miss the city, even in a place as gorgeous as Omega?

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