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Master Cleanse: Day 4

May 28, 2009
shack where we stayed in Goa... the room was empty but it was amazing.

shack where we stayed in Goa... the room was empty but it was amazing.

Finally feeling good, although I must confess I had some orange juice today.  I was feeling very light-headed and gave in and had some.  And I am so glad I did because it made me feel instantly better… and it tasted like nectar from the gods.  I still haven’t had any food and I won’t tomorrow either.  I feel disappointed that I had some juice but it really helped to shift my perspective to a brighter place today.  It can get dark and lonely without food.  Being on a fast definitely forces you to spend more time alone and quiet because of the toll it takes on you.  I feel very isolated because I haven’t shared a meal with anyone this week.   The time alone has really cleared my mind, though, and its definitely made me feel calmer.  Rather then feeling sick like I did yesterday, I feel steady and my vision is clear.  My headache is gone and I can finally appreciate the space within me the fast has created.

  I took an amazing yoga class today, taught by Dechen Thurman (one of my favorite teachers at Jivamukti) this morning and it really helped to elevate my thinking and put me in an introspective and calm head-space.  If you are free from 9- 11am during the weekdays, you should definitely take his class, he is amazing.  I also packed up nearly my entire apartment because I am moving over the weekend which made me very introspective and got me thinking about stuff.  I distinctly remember wishing I had no belongings when I left the Retreat to travel in India.  The clothes and various things I had with me really just seamed to weigh me down.  As I sorted through all of my stuff today I felt like I was ridding myself of everything I no longer need, just as the fast is doing to my insides.  Rather than wish I had no stuff, I feel grateful for what I have.  I feel really glad I am doing this fast (even though it has been absolute torture and I’m sure will be tomorrow) because it has forced me to slow down and think, well at the same time it has challenged me so much.  I can see now how caught up I was in my mental fluctuations yesterday and also that all of that is not who I really am.  Right now, I feel like I have the steadiness of mind and clear, spaciousness to transcend the roller-coaster drama tomorrow.  Here’s hoping…

shells hung above a doorway in Coonoor.

shells hung above a doorway in Coonoor.

colonial building facade in Fort Cochin.

colonial building facade in Fort Cochin.

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